A dark day

Waking up in a strange mood, as if I have been sleepwalking all night and images cut through my vision of past things or dreams? Lost in thoughts puffing at the morning's cigarette, and sipping my coffee with the sun creeping in from my half closed window. There s life out there, it crosses my mind but whats for me? It is one of those moments in the day that I do not feel anything but a loss. To express it in words or even in pictures how is it possible?
When I photograph I feel alive and its like a drag. I want more, I need more. To get away, to break free from complacencies that stupify my being. To learn and explore and play like there is no adulthood in me. Like when I hold the camera and everything is transformed.